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The Relationship Rescue Workbook: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner, by Phillip C. McGraw
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The ideal companion book to the #1 New York Times bestseller Ever since Relationship Rescue became an instant number one New York Times hardcover bestseller, Phil McGraws audiences have been asking for a workbook to help them apply his strategies for change to their relationships. Now, in The Relationship Rescue Workbook, Dr. Phil, Oprah's resident expert on human functioning, provides questions, exercises and self-tests that will enable couples in even the most troubled relationships to get their love lives back on track. And for those in solid relationships who would like to regain their spark, he reveals how to make that happen. He shows readers exactly how to pinpoint problems in their relationships, and how to make sure that the changes they enact will truly last. His straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is advice is made crystal clear in this easy-to-use workbook that is sure to prove immensely popular with his devoted national following.
- Sales Rank: #48259 in Books
- Color: Blue
- Brand: Hyperion
- Published on: 2000-10-18
- Released on: 2000-10-18
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.25" h x .75" w x 7.50" l, 1.01 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
- Great product!
Amazon.com Review
Most Oprah viewers are well aware of Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue, which presents a seven-step program for salvaging troubled relationships. McGraw would be the first to tell you that watching Oprah or reading about his program are all fine and good, but if you really want to rescue your relationship, you've got to do the work--which is where this excellent workbook comes in. Loaded with probing questions, exercises, and fill-in-the-blank "self-tests," this four-part book is probably more effective than having a televised session with McGraw on Oprah. (For those who haven't seen the tearful relationship breakthroughs, be assured that McGraw gets results.)
Don't expect to approach this workbook as if you were whizzing through a magazine quiz. Like the relationship that you are trying to revive, this workbook presents a big commitment. (There's no timeline suggested, but judging from the amount of work involved, common sense says to give it at least a month.) McGraw also urges readers to use this workbook in tandem with Relationship Rescue, even though there are similar exercises in both books. The hardcover book is geared toward helping readers identify "what's wrong and begin the process of restoration," he explains. The workbook helps readers begin the self-scrutinizing work that leads to change. Throughout this 287-page workbook, McGraw asks readers to be brutally honest while they examine the beliefs, behaviors, resentments, and expectations that they bring to the relationship. The four-part structure echoes the structure of his original book, starting with "Recover Your Core" and finishing with "Aim for the Best." Some of the exercises seem predictable, such as "list and describe five things that made you fall in love with your partner." Most of the time, though, the requests are profound and suggest a huge impact on a relationship. For example:
- "I am 100 percent accountable for my life, so I will take a responsibility for bringing a win/win spirit to the table day after day. I can show my optimism by..."
- "My partner does not deserve the effort I am about to invest. I deserve it, and our relationship deserves it. I will take the respect I have for our relationship and exercise it toward my partner. Some simple ways I can demonstrate the respect I hope to be shown myself are..."
This workbook won't change your partner or offer you relationship perfection, warns McGraw. The goal is "to reconnect with your own best self" (which is the foundation of McGraw's couples work). Nor is there a big prize upon completing the workbook. Instead, readers will find a personal letter from McGraw, emphasizing what's already been discovered--relationships aren't maintained and nurtured by a one-shot course, but rather by a strong commitment to one's highest self. It may sound anticlimactic, but as so many Oprah guests are likely to attest, it really works. --Gail Hudson
About the Author
Dr. Phil McGraw is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters; Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner; Self Matters: Creating Your Life From the Inside Out; The Ultimate Weight Solution: The Seven Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, and his most recent book, Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family. He is also the author of the New York Times bestseller The Ultimate Weight Solution Coookbook: Recipes For Weight Loss Freedom as well as The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide. His books have been published in 37 languages with over 22 million copies in print. Dr. Phil has a B.S, M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from North Texas State University with a dual area of emphasis in clinical and behavioral medicine. He has been a board-certified and licensed clinical psychologist since 1978, and appears on his nationally syndicated daily one-hour series, Dr. Phil. He lives in Los Angeles with Robin, his wife of 28 years, and their two sons, Jay and Jordan.
Most helpful customer reviews
255 of 265 people found the following review helpful.
A Journal for Personal and Relationship Improvement
By Donald Mitchell
Relationship Rescue is the best book that I have seen published so far in 2000. This workbook is a very helpful extension of that outstanding book, and one that I hope you will acquire, use, and share with others. Containing many of the same quizzes, assignments, and exercises as Relationship Rescue, the workbook will encourage you to write down your thoughts in more detail. There is also significant new material that will encourage you by deepening your commitment to change, and making it easier for you to change yourself . . . and through that, your relationship.
I recently finished reading Frankenstein, which wonderfully explores the pain that lacking loving human companionship brings. The pain of losing what was once loving may be even worse.
In Dr. Phil's own words, "The two books are designed to be companions." "The hardcover book offers you the information and the tools you need . . . ." "The workbook gives you a totally private place to complete a wide variety of exercises that are crucial to the process. Some of these exercises appear in the hardcover book, but many do not."
His promise to you is a significant one. "Read the book and do the work, and you will reclaim the power to shape the life you live . . . . you will reconnect with your old best self."
While many workbooks claim to be coordinated with book they support, this one does an excellent job of connection. Each section begins with directions of how to use the hardcover book as an introduction to that part of the workbook. So you will need both.
Like Relationship Rescue, this workbook deserves many more than five stars. Combined, the two are as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide for improving your relationships without having a trained counselor present. The combination is significantly better than just using either one alone. The workbook lacks the context, and the hardcover lacks all of the richness of these exercises.
It's too bad that most people will take on this workbook because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with the approach in the book and workbook in the beginning. As I mentioned with regard to Relationship Rescue, I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this workbook and recommend using both books together to others.
Dr. Phil's approach is extremely direct. As in Relationship Rescue, he makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.
Relationship Rescue by itself is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. This workbook is even better structured for use, because of the many directions inside for how to integrate the two books. Like Relationship Rescue, it is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).
Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn. I found that retaking some of the quizzes was very helpful to me in refocusing me on needed improvements, and encouraging me by letting me see how much change I had made since reading Relationship Rescue.
The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.
The steps are even more extensive than in Relationship Rescue, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts over a longer period of time. Before you are done, you will be sharing much of what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercises from the book and the workbook would be very impressed by the commitment to the relationship that all this effort represented. This credibility can help overcome a lot of thoughtlessness that may have preceded that sharing.
If your relationship is on the rocks, you may feel that the idea of reconnecting is scary. I was impressed to see that the book and workbook provide a 14 day program to help you with exercises that help reconnect you emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. The workbook expands the tools available to you during that reconnection period, as well as gives you great ways to monitor and improve on what you are doing. Most counselors would probably not give you this much guidance.
If you are like me, one of the finest things in life is to have a great relationship with other people. The combination of Relationship Rescue and this workbook gives you more than the minimum necessary background to move in that direction. The rest is up to you, as the author says. I urge you to give it a shot! You do have a lot to gain!
82 of 83 people found the following review helpful.
THE HARD COVER BOOK'S COMPANION!
By Sandra D. Peters
It is most unfortunate that a five-star rating is the highest rating possible; the Relationship Rescue Workbook is deserving of at least ten stars! The workbook serves as a companion to, and is best used with, the Relationship Rescue hard cover book. Using one without the other is like eating cake without the frosting. Cake is good, but the frosting makes it all worth while. The hardcover is also good, but using it with the workbook increases the chances of obtaining maximum results.
I would not hesitate to recommend both the hardcover book and workbook to any couple experiencing relationship difficulties, or to any couple who simply want to strengthen the bond with their soulmate. As a counsellor, I have found one of the biggest obstacles encountered in relationships is the ability to communicate with their partner in a respectful, honest, understanding and open way. Communication is not just a matter of verbal speaking, it also includes listening and respecting the other's opinion, and trying to understand their point of view even though you might not agree with what they are saying. When a problem surfaces within a relationship, it is important for both parties to accept the fact there is a problem and be in agreement that they both want to work together on strengthening and/or rebuilding the relationship. If one tries and the other does not, the end result will not be satisfying, and frustration, anger and resentment will likely increase. If you are both committed to improvement, you will find this well-planned workbook is bound to open new doors, break down a few barriers, and put you on a positive and constructive path to improvement. You have very little to lose and everything to gain.
68 of 70 people found the following review helpful.
Relationship Rescue
By A Customer
Forget six to 12 months of psychotherapy!!! After purchasing Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue and working an hour a day on the exercises, I realized that if you have problems with your relationship and seek therapy to "vent" or find out what's wrong with your partner, you're barking up the wrong tree. In the first three hours of reading and doing the exercises, Dr. Phil unearthed problems that jumped off the pages...MY PROBLEMS!!! I discovered that therapy was creating more problems because I was discussing them with my therapist, not my husband...and, my husband cannot read minds!!! And, the neat part is, you can hear Dr. Phil's voice in your mind.
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